Nightly Fantasy

Have I mentioned recently that I love you? Well I do. More than words can describe. You cross my mind every day, several times a day in fact. I can't seem to get you off my mind. There are so many other things I should be thinking about, I have a list somewhere… underneath my scraps of paper with thoughts of you written on them. It seems like no matter what I do, you always come back. You know just what to say, to do, to wear to stay in my mind for days. I know that we would never work out as an actual couple, but in my imagination, nothing is cuter than us being together.

When I close my eyes, trying to sleep the thoughts that finally calm me down enough to actually go to sleep is a fantasy of us being together. It's nothing overtly sexual or anything like that, just us lying on a couch together. You have your arms wrapped around my shoulders; my arm curls around your waist. My head is resting on your shoulder, my forehead is pressed against your chin and my breath slightly tickling your skin, but you don't tell me to move because you like me being here just as much as I love being here. The blanket from your bed is wrapped around us, keeping us warm against the cool September night air. Normally you wouldn't have bothered with a blanket, but you know how easily I get cold, and have kept it on because of me. I'm starting to fall asleep, still almost on top of you. You start stroking my head, fingertips grazing against my scalp. Against my conscious will, I start murmuring nonsense and rub my face against the part of you that is under my cheek. You chuckle at my drowsy antics and continue to pet me. I fall asleep wrapped in your arms and covered by your blanket. Your scent comforts me; your touch reminds me that you will be there when I wake up.

Of course, you never are there when I wake up. You were never there when I went to sleep. It's just a nice image that I indulge myself with as I fall asleep. A little piece of what will never be. A forgotten dream world during the day, the only reality that matters at night. That's all it will ever be, and I'm okay with that.